How to spot a romance scam this Valentine's Day
Valentine’s Day should be about thoughtful gestures and genuine affection, yet more and more people find themselves ensnared in online romance scams. According to Action Fraud, UK victims reported losing over £100 million last year alone. In one case, a London mother of two thought she was speaking with a soldier stationed abroad—only to realise too late that her kind-hearted loans and hopes for the future were based on a lie.
Fraudsters often go to great lengths to build believable personas. Some claim to be serving in the military overseas, while others pose as aid workers in remote regions. They typically offer plausible reasons for why meeting in person isn’t feasible, at least for the time being. One common tactic, sometimes called “love-bombing,” involves a barrage of daily messages, overblown declarations of affection, and elaborate plans for the future. This intensity can override caution, causing people to ignore early doubts.
Once a relationship feels secure, money often becomes the focal point. Sudden “medical emergencies,” on-site accidents in foreign countries, or “guaranteed” investment tips are popular ploys. In a variation known as “pig-butchering,” scammers coax targets into cryptocurrency schemes that promise massive returns but end up draining savings instead.
Be Alert to These Warning Signs:
- Sudden or frequent requests for money under emotional or urgent pretences.
- Reluctance or refusal to appear on video calls, paired with excuses about poor internet or confidentiality.
- Changing backstories or inconsistent personal details that don’t align with previous conversations.
- Excessive or overly intense declarations of love, sometimes labelled as love-bombing.
If you suspect a scam, it’s crucial to stop communicating immediately. Report suspicious profiles to the dating site or social media platform, and notify Action Fraud to protect others and document your case. If you’ve already sent money, contact your bank or payment provider as soon as possible—there are instances where transactions can be reversed or halted if you act quickly. It’s equally important to reach out to friends, family, or even professional counsellors for emotional support, as the betrayal can be devastating.
Specialist investigators, such as those at Conflict International, can sometimes trace digital footprints and gather evidence against fraudsters. Although outcomes vary, professional help may improve the chances of recovering funds or seeing scammers held accountable.
Above all, remember that genuine relationships rarely revolve around secrecy, rushed timelines, or urgent pleas for cash. Online dating can be a wonderful way to make connections if you stay vigilant about sharing personal information and trust your instincts when something feels off. True love might be priceless, but it certainly shouldn’t cost you your life savings. If you need professional advice or suspect foul play, don’t hesitate to contact Conflict International for expert support.