Romance Scams Targeting Over-55s: Warning Signs and Family Support

Romance fraud can affect people of every age and background. However, recent Lloyds Bank customer data indicates a particularly sharp rise in cases involving people aged over 55.

Lloyds reported that romance-scam cases among customers over 55 increased by 52% over the year to September 2025, compared with the previous year. People aged 55 to 64 represented 20% of recorded victims, while those aged 65 to 74 accounted for 18%. Victims aged 75 to 84 recorded the highest average loss, at £8,068.

These figures relate to Lloyds Bank’s own customer data rather than every romance-fraud case in the UK. They nevertheless show why families, financial institutions and professional advisers should take concerns seriously when a new relationship begins to involve secrecy, urgent requests for money or significant financial decisions.

Age should never be used to blame a victim or assume that they lack judgement. Romance fraud succeeds because offenders deliberately build trust and emotional dependence over time.

What the 52% increase means

The reported increase does not mean that most people over 55 who form relationships online will experience fraud.

It means that Lloyds recorded substantially more romance-scam cases among customers in this age group than during the preceding year. The data also showed increases among younger adults, including a 20% rise in cases involving victims aged 35 to 44.

The figures should therefore be understood as evidence of a broader fraud risk rather than a problem limited to older people.

Older adults may nevertheless face particular financial consequences because they can hold:

• Retirement savings;
• Property equity;
• Pensions and investment portfolios;
• Long-established credit histories;
• Larger cash reserves;
• Insurance or inheritance proceeds;
• Assets accumulated over several decades.

A fraudster may also believe that someone who is retired, bereaved or living alone will have more time for frequent communication. These assumptions are made by offenders and should not be treated as descriptions of every older adult.

Why romance fraud can be difficult to recognise

Romance fraud rarely begins with an immediate request for a large sum.

The offender may spend weeks or months:

• Sending frequent and affectionate messages;
• Discussing shared interests and experiences;
• Claiming to want marriage or a long-term future;
• Offering emotional support;
• Building contact into the victim’s daily routine;
• Learning about family relationships and finances;
• Encouraging secrecy or private communication;
• Creating a sense of loyalty and obligation.

By the time money is requested, the relationship may feel established and genuine.

UK Finance has described romance fraud as a form of grooming in which the offender creates an emotional bond before the financial demand is introduced. This helps explain why simply presenting a victim with a list of warning signs may not immediately change their view of the relationship.

Common identities and stories used by fraudsters

A romance fraudster may present themselves as:

• A military officer serving overseas;
• An oil-rig worker;
• A doctor or medical professional;
• An engineer working internationally;
• A successful business owner;
• A widower or widow with family responsibilities;
• A celebrity or public figure;
• A contractor unable to access their own funds;
• An investor with access to a profitable opportunity.

Lloyds identified recurring stories involving people supposedly working on oil rigs, serving in the military, experiencing medical emergencies or needing funds before they could travel to meet the victim.

These occupations and circumstances help explain why the person cannot meet, why communication must remain private and why a temporary financial problem has supposedly arisen.

Warning signs for the person in the relationship

One sign alone does not prove fraud. Concern should increase where several behaviours occur together.

Potential warning signs include:

• The relationship becoming intense unusually quickly;
• Repeated excuses for avoiding an in-person meeting;
• Cancelled video calls or brief, poor-quality appearances;
• Inconsistent information about work, location or family;
• Requests to move communication away from the original platform;
• Pressure to keep the relationship secret;
• An urgent request for money;
• Investment opportunities offered by the new partner;
• Requests for loans, gift cards or cryptocurrency;
• Instructions to receive or forward money;
• Emotional pressure when questions are asked;
• Claims that family members are jealous or interfering.

Police guidance advises people never to send money to someone known only online and to speak to friends or relatives before making financial decisions connected with a new relationship.

For a complete prevention checklist, read How to Spot a Romance Scam: Warning Signs and Practical Steps.

Warning signs family members may notice

Relatives or close friends may observe changes before they know the full circumstances.

These can include:

• Unusual or unexplained bank transfers;
• New loans or credit agreements;
• Attempts to sell property or investments unexpectedly;
• Secrecy about a new online relationship;
• Withdrawal from existing friends or relatives;
• Frequent messages or calls at unusual hours;
• Anxiety when the new partner cannot be contacted;
• Repeated emergencies requiring money;
• Discussion of moving abroad or marrying quickly;
• Requests for help using cryptocurrency or gift cards;
• Defensiveness when reasonable questions are asked.

These changes may have innocent explanations. They should prompt a calm conversation rather than an accusation.

How to raise concerns without pushing someone away

A direct statement such as “You are being scammed” may cause the person to defend the relationship and reduce contact with family members.

A more constructive approach is to:

1. Choose a calm and private time to speak.
2. Ask how the relationship began.
3. Listen without ridicule or interruption.
4. Focus on specific inconsistencies.
5. Ask whether the person has been independently verified.
6. Encourage a temporary pause in payments.
7. Offer to speak to the bank together.
8. Suggest independent legal, financial or investigative checks.
9. Remain supportive if the person is not ready to accept the concern immediately.

Avoid language such as:

• “You should have known better.”
• “It is obviously fake.”
• “You are being foolish.”
• “We told you this would happen.”

Report Fraud notes that romance fraudsters frequently isolate victims and damage their relationships with family and friends. Maintaining trust with the person affected can therefore be an important part of safeguarding them.

Protecting financial independence

Where a new relationship involves money, practical safeguards can reduce the risk without taking control away from the individual.

Consider:

• Discussing significant transfers with a trusted person;
• Using independent legal advice before selling property;
• Checking investment opportunities with a regulated adviser;
• Contacting the bank through a verified number;
• Avoiding joint accounts with someone whose identity has not been verified;
• Setting account alerts for large transfers;
• Reviewing powers of attorney and account authorities;
• Keeping passwords and security codes private;
• Refusing remote access to computers or phones;
• Pausing any transaction involving urgency or secrecy.

The objective should be to support informed decision-making, not to remove the person’s autonomy.

What to do before money is sent

Before making a payment:

1. Stop and allow time for independent checks.
2. Speak to a trusted friend or family member.
3. Verify the person’s identity and employment independently.
4. Check photographs using reverse-image search.
5. Do not rely solely on documents supplied by the person.
6. Contact the bank if the proposed payment is unusual.
7. Avoid borrowing or releasing property funds.
8. Do not invest through a platform recommended by the new partner.
9. Reject any demand for secrecy.
10. Obtain legal or financial advice for significant transactions.

A genuine partner should accept reasonable verification where substantial money or property is involved.

What to do after money has been sent

Act quickly:

1. Stop all further payments.
2. Contact the bank or payment provider immediately.
3. Ask whether recent transfers can be recalled or reviewed.
4. Preserve complete message and payment records.
5. Report the matter to Report Fraud or the relevant police force.
6. Notify the dating or social-media platform.
7. Secure email, banking and social-media accounts.
8. Tell a trusted family member or friend.
9. Seek emotional support.
10. Avoid anyone promising guaranteed recovery.

Police guidance states clearly that romance fraud is never the victim’s fault and can be reported by the victim or someone acting on their behalf.

For detailed post-loss guidance, read Romance Fraud Investigation and Asset Recovery: What Victims Should Do.

Supporting someone after the fraud is discovered

The loss may affect more than the victim’s finances.

They may experience:

• Grief for the relationship they believed was real;
• Shame or embarrassment;
• Anxiety and sleep problems;
• Loss of confidence;
• Fear of telling relatives;
• Debt or housing insecurity;
• Difficulty trusting other people;
• Continued contact from the fraudster;
• Approaches from recovery scammers.

Age UK provides practical guidance for scam victims and identifies organisations offering emotional, financial and legal support. Its Scams Prevention and Support Programme is also designed to help older people feel safer and reduce the risk of repeat victimisation.

Family members should avoid taking over every decision unless there is a lawful and necessary reason to do so. Support should focus on safety, reporting, preserving evidence and restoring the person’s confidence.

The risk of repeat targeting

Someone who has sent money may be approached again.

The original offender may return with:

• A new emergency;
• A different identity;
• A supposed lawyer or police officer;
• A claim that the funds can now be released;
• Threats or blackmail;
• An apology and promise of repayment.

Separate recovery scammers may also claim that they have located the money and require an upfront fee.

Warning signs include:

• Guaranteed recovery;
• Unsolicited contact;
• Requests for tax or release fees;
• Pressure to pay in cryptocurrency;
• Impersonation of regulators or banks;
• Requests for remote access;
• A refusal to provide a clear written scope.

Do not pay anyone solely because they claim to know details of the original loss.

When identity investigation may be appropriate

An investigation may be considered where:

• A substantial payment is being proposed;
• The claimed identity cannot be verified;
• The person refuses to meet or video call;
• Several names, telephone numbers or profiles are involved;
• Companies or investment platforms have been introduced;
• Money has already been sent;
• Family members need objective evidence;
• The suspected fraud crosses several countries;
• The bank or legal adviser requires organised information.

Depending on the available evidence, enquiries may include:

• Checking names and aliases;
• Reviewing social-media profiles;
• Verifying employment and business claims;
• Examining photographs and contact details;
• Researching companies, addresses and domains;
• Analysing payment information;
• Tracing cryptocurrency transactions;
• Preserving evidence for banks, lawyers or police.

An investigation cannot guarantee that the person will be identified or that funds will be recovered.

Romance-fraud investigation support

Conflict International assists individuals, families and legal advisers with concerns involving suspected romance fraud, false identities and financial deception.

Depending on the circumstances, our work may include:

• Identity and background enquiries;
• Open-source and digital investigation;
• Company and address research;
• Financial intelligence;
• Cryptocurrency analysis;
• Asset tracing;
• Evidence collation;
• International investigative support.

Learn more about our Fraud and Financial Investigation Services, or contact us in confidence to discuss the available evidence and realistic next steps.

Where money has recently been transferred, contact the bank and report the fraud before waiting for a private investigation.